Family & Relationships Friends & Friendship

Can He Make A Commitment?

In recent years we have seen an increasing number of women who have little to no interest in settling into a committed relationship; however the general idea that it is often men that shy away from making the leap is still very often true.

The most frequently asked dating questions often pertain to the idea of being uncertain about a partner's level of commitment or ability to do so at all. Whether asking for professional advice or the expertise of a close friend it can be difficult to determine whether or not a man is ready for a committed relationship.

Asking Outright:

Very few people find matchmaking an easy task especially when it comes to the big questions. An option for discovering whether or not the special guy in your life is ready to solidify the relationship is simply to ask him. Unfortunately this blunt method may scare off a lot of people because it leaves very little open. Obviously, if the answer is yes, a relationship has a fairly good chance of moving forward.

On the other hand, if the answer to this question is a solid no, many people feel as though they are forced then to take drastic action, such as breaking it off, to redeem some of their dignity.

Another bothersome aspect about this method is that it may be to forceful for some men who are not quite ready to answer a question about commitment and for this reason many people shy away from pursuing such a definite question.

Subtle Hints:

Slipping hidden messages strategically into certain conversations or perhaps placing visual reminders of the idea of commitment within clear view is a common method of trying to get a readable reaction from a partner. Using this method one may determine whether or not their gent is ready for a relationship by critiquing his responses to such hints.

These sorts of love tests can often yield excellent results, but can also be quite transparent if not carefully designed. Some specific ideas and situations:

* Broaching Future Plans: When discussing plans that will take place in a year or more it is important to pay attention to your gent's reaction. These plans may not be solid, simply discussing what you would like to do with your lives together and therefore he may not feel it necessary to oppose them even if he is afraid of commitment; however many men become a little squeamish with the very idea of planning that far ahead if they do have serious commitment issues.

* Friendly Efforts: If his friends seem to want to be on good terms with you this is usually a good sign that he has let one or two things slip about his feelings in regards to your relationship, so it's a good idea to meet them a.s.a.p. if you're looking for subtle signs. This is often doubly true for family members and if you get that invite, you can breathe easier, it is an almost positive for future intentions.

* Making a Nest: If your guy has made some space for you or in some way has made an effort to include your needs at his place this is often an excellent sign that he hopes you'll stick around. When trying to test the waters you may want to bring up the idea of leaving a personal item or two at his house and pay close attention to his reaction.

The Anti-Commitment Tells:

Though it may not be the most enjoyable experience, coming to terms with a commit-o-phobic man, if the signs are there you may be forced to make a decision about your future. Watching for such details isn't always easy and it's important to keep in mind that just because he may not be ready now, doesn't mean he never will be.

* Inconsistency: Though the future love of your life might just tend to be on the flaky side, a guy who often forgets about the details that are important to you might be doing so because you're just not that important.

If he sees you as disposable he won't often trouble himself with remembering your favorite foods or the name of your favorite character on a TV show. Major inconsistencies should not be over looked when trying to determine whether or not he's in this for the long haul and though he might just needs some friendly reminders about considering others, you should know what you're getting into.

* Easy Dismissals: When someone hopes to build a future with another person they often begin rearranging tiny details of their life to include that partner. If as a part of your courtship you see him making no effort to include you in his life it may be because he doesn't see you fitting into it for very long. Though it is important not to force change on a guy, there should be some areas where he is willing to bend in order to meet you half way.

* Romance and Pursuit: Not all couples need the classic romantic details to make their relationship work and you maybe one of those people who find too many glowing hearts revolting. However, whatever your idea of romantic is it is important that you see some effort on his part to court you, showing you signs that he is willing to make an effort to keep you interested. For some men this may require hints, even instructions, but in the end if he knows what you want and refuses to deliver you may want to begin looking elsewhere for that special someone.

* Bringing You Together: If the only signs of attraction on his side of things leave you wondering whether or not he really knows you it may be time to test his knowledge. Though some men maybe very enthusiastic about the physical side of a relationship a hesitant attitude towards finding the little details that make you, you special often indicate that you might just be replaceable.

It is important to remember however, that he might just need some dating help in the area of expression and once you've found a way to get him to talk you may find that he sees more than he originally let on.

Quick Tips: Classic Fear of Commitment Actions to Watch for

Those looking for some easy to read signs without the analysis may find it useful simply to watch for any of these actions:

* He doesn't often remember things you've talked about.

* The desire to meet your friends and family doesn't seem to be on his mind.

* Talking about the future is a sure way to get him to turn on the TV.

* He refuses to do anything that you enjoy, but isn't on his fun list.

* All of the movies you watch are his choice.

* If he gives you a gift, it's way off the mark.

* When you need his support he tends to seem uncomfortable.

* He never asks how your day went.

* When you're upset, he seems to just want to leave you alone.

* If you left your toothbrush behind, he'd get upset.

Discussing commitment can be a difficult subject for anyone and if you find that it seems almost impossible to determine whether or not the man in your life is ready for that step you may simply have to resort to being blunt about the idea. Keep in mind that there are many men out there who are looking to settle down into a comfortable and happy relationship and you shouldn't have to wait forever to have that kind of happiness.

Leave a reply