Family & Relationships Gay Lesbian & Bisexual & Transgender

Guilt About Attraction to Men

Dear Lesbian Life
All my life I have been attracted to men. I had a very bad heart break three years back and I was severely depressed for a year or so. I had been feeling better and ready for relationship when my ex-room-mate came to visit me. She had always been attracted to me but this time, I felt attracted towards her. In few months time, we were in a relationship. I am still with her (it's been an year now).

Everything is great except I still find guys attractive. I feel guilty for being attracted to men instead of women.

I don't want to spoil the beautiful thing I have with her but I don't want to be dishonest either. I am very confused. Please help.

Dear Guilty Lover,

Perhaps you are bisexual. Don't feel guilty! It is normal to be attracted to other people, even when you are in a relationship with someone you love. Being attracted is normal and okay, but if you are going to act on those feelings, you should make sure you and your girlfriend have an agreement about polyamory.
There's no need to feel guilty, but since this seems to be eating you inside, then go ahead and let her know what you are going through. Honesty is important in a relationship, but that doesn't necessarily mean telling her every time you find someone else attractive! You'll give the girl a complex. Use your best judgment here.

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