Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

5 Tips To Help You Live With Your Ex In The Same House

Being separated but still living with your ex in the same house would seem like a nightmare if it were not for the fact that living apart was unaffordable.
When a marriage is breaking up most couples will look to sell their house (if they own one) so they can pay back the loan and move on into the future.
If they do not own their home they may have a lease that is not so easy to get out of.
The problem is the housing market is still struggling since the credit crunch and some homes are selling way under value.
If a couple sell their home for less than what they owe on it they could end up still owing money which they may not have.
If one partner leaves the house while the other remains they will be faced with a big outlay of cash just to get set up again.
Add children to that equation and the leaver is likely to pay child and spousal support as well causing both partners standard of living to drop.
This is why so many couples are remaining together but living in separate rooms because it is just too expensive to split up in a conventional way.
Living with your ex is certainly not ideal but in rocky economical times it can be a way to stop the house going into foreclosure or getting a bad credit reputation.
With banks tightening up their lending criteria bad credit could affect either partners future quite drastically.
At the end of any relationship there is emotional fallout where blame hurt and sadness tend to reign as each partner mourns and attempts to deal with the break up.
In order to live together under the same roof it is crucial that some kind of plan is put in place to try to keep things from getting crazy.
I would like to suggest some tips to help a couple that are separated but still living in the same house keep things SANE.
Sleep in separate rooms, as the alternative may prove too confusing.
Write everything down that you both want to achieve from staying together.
This puts things in BLACK and WHITE making each partner's wishes clear to the other.
Set up a schedule or list of all the household duties and work out how they will be allocated.
Some people will choose to leave things as they are while others may want their ex partner to assume more responsibility than before.
It is so important to organize the finances as it is often the reason a separated couple is still living under the same roof.
This could easily cause friction if one partner has always controlled the money or is the only one working.
On the other hand making sure the mortgage and other bills are paid is probably a priority for both partners who will want a clean slate when they eventually divorce or separate for good.
COMMUNICATION on a friendly level is vital if there are children in the house.
When you speak to each other try not to use the opportunity to assault each other verbally.
Your kids will be watching and "yes" they will be affected.
If you are annoyed about something tell your partner how you feel using I messages.
"I feel invisible when we talk about our divorce or "I am concerned about the childrens welfare.
" This way you are not attacking your ex partner and hopefully they will respond in a positive way.
I can imagine that in reading this you would prefer to throw their clothes out the window and be done with them but if this living arrangement is to work some changes are most likely needed.
If communicating with each other was the issue in the relationship you both may embrace this new way of talking.
If you can get these 5 tips up and going you will both have a real chance of making it work.
Looking ahead is the key to success, as you both want to have a life after separation or divorce that is not fraught with unpaid bills and lousy credit.

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