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Things You Can Say When His Mother Dies

    Naming Emotions

    • You can start the conversation by saying something to the effect of, "How are you holding up with all this?" Then you can follow up by saying, "You must be missing her so much right now," or, "You loved her so much - I wonder if it feels lonely to be without her." Continue the conversation by showing sensitivity to the emotional state which is revealed.

    Offering Support

    • If the bereaved is your husband or partner, let him know you will be there for him whenever he needs you. If you are a co-worker, focus your support on what you can do for him at work (such as family leave time, handling assignments or filling in on shifts.) In the case of a friend, try saying, "I really want to help. What's one thing I could do for you right now?"

    Finding Meaning

    • One of the ways individuals respond to grief and loss is to try and find some meaning in what has happened. You can try asking, "What's keeping you going right now?" Or you can say, "How do you make sense of all this?" Or you can invite the bereaved to talk about how the loss is affecting him by saying something like, "Your whole world must feel upside down right now. Is there somewhere you can turn for peace?"

    Saying "I'm Sorry"

    • The simplest way to respond to a loss is to acknowledge your emotions and your regret that this painful loss has happened to someone you care about. In the process you can say something to the effect of, "I know that nothing I can say will take away this pain, but I'm here for you," or, if you knew the deceased, "You're not alone in this. I miss her too."

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