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Are You Dating, Married to or Living With a Psychopath? Ten Ways to Tell.

I've been in the relationship business for decades. I study it. Live it. And write about it in my novels. When asked about the secret to a happy romantic relationship my first response is to say, "Be sure they are not an addict or a psychopath."

That's usually when I get laughed at, but it's not a joke.

If your relationships never last or if they are always filled with stress and pain, your partner is probably, to some degree, a psychopath. And if you are feeling the pain, you are probably the co-dependent in the mix.

Psychopaths rarely feel appreciable amounts of pain. They rarely feel anything at all.

Just to be clear, let me define what I mean by a psychopath and an addict. Everyone knows what an addict is, except the addict. You can't win with an addict. They get the high and you get the low. You'll go crazy.

A psychopath is closely related to an addict and it is not unusual for a psychopath to also be an addict. A psychopath and a sociopath have very similar characteristics. For the sake of this article, I'm treating them both as psychopaths. I'm also lumping narcissists in the mix too.

They are all selfish and dangerous to your well-being, if not your life. Their differences are really just a matter of degree.
Psychopaths are far more common than you would imagine, about 1 in 25 people are psychopaths. Many are in positions of authority and power.

A psychopath has the following characteristics: 1.) Minimum Fear. 2) Lack of Empathy. 3) High Stress Tolerance. 4.) Superficial Charm. 5.) Manipulates Others. 6.) Iresponsible. 7) Impulsive. 8.) Criminal Behavior. 9.) Lack of Remorse. 10.) Parasitic Lifestyle.

A psychopath rarely apologizes and then it is only to get something they want. They don't apologize if they hurt you, because they are incapable of remorse. They apologize to regain control.

A psychopath cannot be changed and cannot be fixed.

Here's the kicker: An emotionally healthy man or woman instinctively avoids psychopaths, but someone who was raised by a psychopath will be drawn to them like a moth to a flame. And it will be just as fatal.
Psychopaths seek out people who have been conditioned to accept them and who know their dysfunctional dance.

On the flip-side, those who have been raised by a psychopath are exquisitely conditioned for the role of co-dependent. The co-dependent will unconsciously seek out the psychopath too and revel in their charm.

The co-dependent often has an addiction to the psychopath personality.
If someone who has been parented by a psychopath enters a room filled with a hundred strangers, within fifteen minutes they will be paired with a psychopath.

In truth, a psychopath is not aware of other people as people. In their mind other people, even a lover, are merely objects in orbit around them.

Here is an essential key to a fulfilling relationship; Insist that a romantic relationship enrich your life. If it doesn't, you're better off alone. Because the truth is, love does NOT conquer all. Love cannot overcome addiction or abuse or neglect.

Be well.

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