Family & Relationships Gay Lesbian & Bisexual & Transgender

Getting the Attention of a Gay Co-Worker

Hi Mona,

I like this guy in my office, but I'm not sure if he likes me. It's been three months and I don't know how to approach him or start a friendship. We have a common girl-friend so we often bump into each other. I can tell he feels uncomfortable when I'm around and he hardly makes eye contact. Help me get his attention!

-Working Overtime-

Dear Disgruntled Employee,

The one tool you need to get your workplace man is right before your eyes.

You and work dude have a mutual girl-friend, right? Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but a girl is a gay man's best friend. We help them sort out their straight male dates and fashion faux pas; they help us relay messages that we are too afraid, or otherwise too clueless, to do ourselves. Use this to your advantage! And the best part is, it's up to you whether she's a willing participant or not.

If she's a trusted friend, tell her about your mission. Have her drop hints to him or better yet ask her to get all the dish on how he feels about you. If she's not quite an ally, become her shadow. Tag along wherever she goes. Befriend her. That way, every time she sees him, you see him.

Convince her to plan a gathering outside of work. His guard is most likely to be down away from his butch co-workers. You can either go the full disclosure route where all three of you are aware that everyone is hanging out together or you can be a little sneaky and have her invite him to a solo gathering where you miraculously show up.

Call me devious, but matters of the heart often take a little more than courage.

Be sure to keep your cool when you do get a chance to hang out with him. Don't let on that you are madly in love just yet. Be his friend, enjoy his company and make him want to spend more time with you. If your mutual girl-friend is any kind of hag worth her weight in Prada, she'll get the post-meeting wrap up, which she'll be more than willing to relay to you- especially if he likes you.

Yours in love,

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