Law & Legal & Attorney Family Law

Could You Become the Next Victim of Domestic Abuse?

Could you become the next victim of abuse? Domestic abuse does discriminate in age or gender.
Like so many women I did not believe that it could happen to me.
I thought my education and background would save me from domestic abuse.
I was wrong however.
In my book "Be Careful Who You Marry" I recount the domestic abuse I endured in my marriage.
In hindsight all the signs were there that I could be the next victim of domestic abuse.
From my experience and through observing other domestic abuse relationships some women are predisposed to experiencing domestic abuse in their relationships during there life time.
The first place to look for the signs that a woman could be abused would be to look at the family history.
Children that grow up in an abusive home are more likely to be abused or be abusers.
Personally, my mother experienced domestic abused and so did my grandmother.
I vowed never to let a man put his hands on me, but I didn't vow to never let a man manipulate me psychologically, abuse me verbally, or abuse me mentally.
Though some would not define this behavior as domestic abuse the damage it causes is often greater than physical abuse.
Anyone experiencing or has experienced this knows that mental and verbal abuse can cause low self-esteem and is the precursor to physical abuse.
I was fortunate enough to leave my marriage before I suffered at the hand of my ex-husband.
I saw the signs that physical abuse would happen and got out of the relationship as the mental and verbal abuse became progressively worse.
The best thing I did was leaving the relationship before I hit or even killed.
Low self-esteem is another factor in determining if a woman could become a victim of domestic abuse.
My observation has been that women who suffer from low self-esteem are more likely to accept any type of behavior from their partners in order to maintain the relationship.
I spoke with an older woman who was experiencing psychological abuse from her boyfriend.
When I asked why she stayed in the relationship she said that she was too old to find someone else and that she accepts his mistreatment because she didn't want to be alone.
I have found that it is much better to be alone or feel loneliness than to be victimized by abuse of any form.
People pleasers have a way of contributing to being abused.
In my childhood I never really rebelled.
I would do anything my mother said for fear of making her angry.
All I ever wanted to do was please her.
As I became older and as my mother would try to control my choices in life I felt the need to be in a relationship to get away from my mother.
Relationships were my escape from the control I was feeling at home.
In relationships I could do anything I wanted, until I met my ex-husband.
One of the reasons I stayed in the relationship longer than I should was because I was comfortable with pleasing and being controlled.
I didn't realize that I was contributing to my own abuse in this way until I left the relationship.
I never wanted to make my ex-husband angry so I did whatever he asked me to do for fear of being verbally abused.
I had repeated the pattern that I learned all of my life.
Although these are indicators that a woman could be abused physically, mentally, or verbally it does not indicate that abuse will happen.

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