Family & Relationships Conflict

My Girlfriend Says She Wants Space - What Should I Do?

So you thought things were going great...
and then it comes from totally out of nowhere: "I think I need some space...
" Whoa.
What should you do? Do you step back gracefully and give her some time alone? Should you be patient, kind, sweet...
allowing your girlfriend whatever "space" she needs that will allow your relationship to heal? Should you be there for her on the other end of the phone when she wants to talk, but not press the issue so you don't upset her? By staying in plain sight but leaving her to her thoughts, surely your girlfriend will realize that she loves you.
Soon afterward she'll come running back...
right? Not even close.
Whenever your girlfriend asks for some time alone, what she's really doing is contemplating your break up.
She'll ask for some space, but she still wants you around for when she needs you.
Maybe she'll call, or email you, or send you the occasional text-message...
but she wants all of this communication to be one-sided while she goes out and does whatever she wants.
Try calling her, and you'll immediately bring down her wrath.
She'll resent you for pressing her during this very "confusing" time, when all you're really trying to do is find out what's going on.
Want the brutal, blunt, in-your-face truth? Your girlfriend says she wants space because she's about to break up with you.
She's weighing her options and looking to see if there isn't something better out there that she can sink her teeth into.
The second she finds it, she'll shrug her shoulders and tell you that your relationship just drifted apart.
And if she doesn't find it? She'll keep looking for as long as she's comfortable, knowing all the while that you're still hanging on to the idea of being with her.
You become nothing more than Plan B.
Guess what? You deserve better than that.
And if you want your girlfriend back, you can't possibly accept that situation for the way it is.
Sitting back quietly while your girlfriend plays the field is NOT the way to put her back in your arms.
Being patient and allowing her time to "figure things out" isn't going to fix the situation.
No, the only way to repair your relationship is to make your girlfriend want you back.
And you don't do this by sitting back passively and answering the phone sweetly (and excitedly) when she calls...
you do this by taking some initiative and not answering your phone at all.
"My girlfriend says she wants some space...
" Good.
Give it to her.
Give her so much space she could launch satellites.
Ditch your cellphone, turn off your computer, and drop out of sight as fast as possible.
Go out with friends, and do things to keep your mind off of her.
When she calls, let it go to voicemail.
You'll be tempted to call her back, but don't bother.
Wait a few days, until your girlfriend is absolutely astonished that you haven't gotten back in touch with her.
Wait until she's worried that maybe she's pushed you too far...
that maybe she's gotten a little bit more than she bargained for.
Then answer the phone, tell her "the break" just isn't working for you, and wish her luck.
You see, when your girlfriend puts your relationship on hold instead of breaking up with you, it's because she's not ready to lose you yet.
Once she finds something or someone better? It's easy to let go.
But losing you all at once, as in a real breakup, is a little more than she wants.
This is why she'd like to keep you hanging on...
while she decides if the grass is greener somewhere else.
By taking yourself completely out of her world, you're creating an environment of complete uncertainty.
Now she really IS alone.
Now she has to deal with the fact that you might not be coming back.
Once your girlfriend begins to face a world without you in it, she starts really thinking about your relationship.
She begins missing you very quickly, and the fact that you're not responding to her will worry her more than ever.
It will accelerate the process of her wanting you back, whereas "being patient" and acting as if you're cool with her decision will actually prolong the breakup.
Best of all, there are ways you can accelerate your reunion.
Getting your girlfriend back involves nothing more than a step-by-step blueprint for success.
There are methods and techniques you can use to make your ex want you again, and to make her immediately need you back in her life.

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