But moms, we're guilty of the same thing. We run from morning to night and we don't stop to get directions for our life and we waste a lot of time.
There is a saying that it "takes time to make time."
This feels like crazy talk to mothers.
We shuttle our kids around town singing our mother mantra,
"I am so busy and I don't have any time."
And then every year we do the same thing over and over again and guess what.
So what in the hec does "it takes time to make time" mean? I don't have that kind of time.
Here's what it means. If you take time to evaluate how you are spending your time then you can come up with strategies to live more effectively.
But when you are "in" the craziness of volunteering for 15 things, remodeling your house, helping your daughter complete her science project and doing the books for your husband's business, you are just hoping to survive. Your strategy is to push harder and it takes an extra glass of wine to wind down each night.
This is why I created my 7 week program Power Your Parenting: Reconnect with Your Teenage Daughter and Reclaim Your Life. I help mothers get out of overwhelm and create a life that works for them and their daughter. The moms who have taken this course find that they are in control of their schedule instead of their schedule running them. But many moms are afraid to sign up for the program because they don't have time. My answer is, "how can you afford to not take time and create the life you were supposed to live?" It affects you and your family. Again it "takes time to make time."
5 Steps to Help Busy Moms Make Time
1. Take time to stop.
I know this feels counter intuitive, but when you stop, it allows you to reflect on your life. If you don't, you will look like my daughter's hamsters running so hard they flip out of their hamster wheel. Taking time to reflect and focus on your life is the best time you will ever spend.
Get away from distractions
You need time away from kids, husbands, phones, texts and email. It is good to get out of the home because you can be distracted by the dishes in the sink or messy cabinets.
Plan a time to stop
Take an afternoon. Spend 30 minutes in quiet every morning. Sign up for a retreat, workshop, or program. Once you have planned a time, get it in your schedule.
2. Get in alignment
You need this time to stop and remember what is important to you. As moms we are all about relationships but when we are running around we don't have quality time for those we love.
We can get caught in the 'Hurry Up's. You need to hurry up, we are leaving. You need to hurry up and get your homework done. You need to hurry up and get off Facebook. You need to hurry up and go to bed.
And you are saying 'Hurry Up' to yourself 24/7.
When you are always in a 'hurry up' mode, you miss your life.
Take time to reconnect with your heart and soul. Make sure the important things in your life are aligned with your words and actions.
Are you spending time on the important things?
3. Evaluate and strategize
Take time to answer these questions. They will help you get clear.
What can I let go of?
What can I say no to?
What can I delegate?
Where do I need help?
What's not working? What is working?
What do I want more of?
How can I do it differently?
4. Create a new plan.
Now look at what you have written in step 3. Decide what you are going to do for each question. Next, number them from one to seven according to what's most important to you. Start with your number one.
5. Do it.
Now that you have made a decision, just do it. If your number one item still feels too big, break it down into a small enough step that you will do it. The goal is to take action. Even taking action for 5 minutes can change your life. You want to make it so easy on yourself you won't have any excuses not do it.
6. Get Support
All of us need support. Your family and friends can be a great support. But I know what made the huge difference for me was hiring a mentor. My mentor believes in me and gives me the tools to create the best life for me and my daughter. A mentor or coach has no agenda (in contrast to family or friends) other than to support you. Moms have such a hard time investing in their life especially financially. You invest in your daughter and want her to have the best, but somehow it feels selfish to invest in you. Investing time and money in your life will not only benefit you, but it will greatly benefit your family. You will be happier, energized and living more effectively.
Take time to make time!