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December '99 Issue 73 |
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December '99 Issue 73 |
| CONTENTS
Temple Preservers Precious Pictures
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An
Expression of Love
As members of the human family, we all need to be loved --to be touched --to be valued. To be loved unconditionally is to be loved for who we are: deplore my deed, if you will, but love me as a person, as I love you. To be touched is to feel the warmth of another human being --to connect, in some way, to one of our own. To be valued is to see our worth reflected in the eyes of others. The need to be cherished is common to us all. But nowhere is it important than in the lives of small children. Imagine, then, a child's life devoid of love, devoid of touch, and devoid of value. This is not a life; it is an existence. Deprivation denies, depletes, and destroys the human spirit.
Verne and Olive Asbury, both 48, have shown that there is a way back from the bleakness of such a human wasteland, and in doing so have probably reaped far more than they have sown. Guangzhou, 1996. The couple had gone to the Guangzhou Children's Welfare Home in the Longdong district of Guangzhou. "A heartrending experience," admits Verne. "So many babies, so few caregivers. So overcrowded, so understaffed." Many institutions the world over --hospitals, clinics, orphanages -- have the same problem: the demand for care always exceeds the supply. The Asburys immediately volunteered to do whatever they could to alleviate the suffering. They began with the simple act of touching: just holding an infant. How often we take for granted the human touch. But for the babies at this orphanage, human touch was a unique experience. For Verne and Olive, it was an experience tinged with great sadness. Once the touching had ceased, and the babies had been returned to their beds, infantile cries of privation filled the room. Nearly all the orphans were girls. One little girl in particular drew the attention of the Asbury family. That one little girl was Emmie, less than a year old at the time. "She was totally withdrawn, totally blank, expressionless, and labeled as 'retarded,'" says Verne. The only person to whom Emmie would respond was Wayne Asbury, Verne and Olive's youngest son, then 17. Only for him would Emmie smile; only for him would Emmie eventually laugh. Turning Point
Wayne Asbury leaned down and looked at Emmie. After six long weeks of separation, the little girl slowly reached out and touched his face. She had remembered him! He picked her up and burst into tears. Initially, the orphanage authorities thought that Wayne had wanted to adopt Emmie, but when they discovered that he was only 17, they suggested that perhaps his parents would be interested in adopting her. In fact, Olive and Verne had wanted to adopt Emmie from the outset. To them, she was special. The couple, having had 3 sons of their own, had always wanted a daughter. This beautiful little girl had won their hearts. She was the one they wanted, and so began the process of trying to extricate this tiny girl from the deprivation concomitant with institutional overcrowding and understaffing.
Within about six months of their having first arrived at the Guangzhou orphanage, Verne and Olive were allowed to take Emmie home for the weekend. "For the first hour or so after leaving the place," says Verne. 'Emmie would remain in 'orphanage mode' --withdrawn, expressionless, and uncommunicative. But as soon as we got her home, she became a different child. She began to smile and laugh. She became animated." Olive continues, "When the weekend was over and we had to take her back, she reverted once again to being apathetic and impassive." Such recollections still evoke strong feelings in the couple: Verne's voice cracks with emotion and Olive's expressive blue-gray eyes tend to mist over. By March 1997, orphanage officials had given permission for the Asburys to take Emmie for a medical examination. Soon afterwards, Verne and Olive became subject to rigorous investigations by both American and Chinese adoption agencies. Such stringency is necessary for the protection of the child, but it is not without stress for the adoptive parents. By the end of 1997, Emmie was an Asbury. This special little girl, who had burrowed her way into their hearts, was now their daughter. Question of Love
A question that always comes to mind in relation to adoption is: "How does one choose one child over another? For every child taken, there are still hundreds left behind." Thoughtfully, Verne counters, "What is it that draws any one individual to another? I don't really know." I am reminded of the motto of World Vision, a worldwide organization which focuses on deprived children: Just because you can't do everything doesn't mean you can't do something. The Asburys returned to the United States that summer, but by September 1997, they were back in Guangzhou --and back to volunteering at the same orphanage that had given them their precious little Emmie. A toothless smile and some childish chatter were the magnets that first attracted Verne and Olive to tiny Lorraine. And tiny she was --almost to the point of being emaciated: legs bowed into a near circle and bones protruding to just under the skin. Her age? Indeterminable --perhaps 2 years old. Stature? Dwarf-like --a manifestation of rickets. But, there was something irresistible about this child, and the Asburys fell in love with her. Unlike Emmie, Lorraine would gravitate to anyone offering affection. And, not surprisingly, she gravitated toward Olive and Verne. Olive smiles as Verne comments, "Well, it's just as easy to bring up two as it is to bring up one so we decided we wanted Lorraine, too," Lorraine's adoption with fraught with far fewer problems than Emmie's, perhaps because Lorraine was so obviously physically disadvantaged. (It is relatively easier to adopt a child who is physically disadvantaged than one who is not.) Today it is difficult to envision the children as they once were, as they were when Verne and Olive first set eyes on them. Emmie is now 4 years old; Lorraine, perhaps a few months older. Lorraine's legs are strong and nearly straight, and she chatters happily about playing ball with her sister. Emmie, once withdrawn and apathetic, is now a happy, energetic youngster who likes to remind everyone that a baby belongs in its stroller. Although Emmie still suffers from periods of separation anxiety, the frequency of these periods is steadily decreasing. The girls love each other as much as if they were biological sisters. Prone to hugging each other then dissolving into gales of laughter, these tiny souls are proof positive of the power of love and the power of prayer. Cultural Heritage Will the girls be taught about their Chinese heritage? Verne smiles, and replies, "Well, our family has been immersed in Chinese culture for more than 15 years. The girls are already being taught Chinese." He continues, "I realized when I came to China that this is where I was meant to be." In fact, he and his family arrived in Taiwan in 1985. They stayed for seven years during which time Verne taught English at a various schools, and Olive, following the Accelerated Christian Education curriculum, taught their three young sons --Glen, Keith, and Wayne --at home. The boys developed a great love of Chinese culture and were quick to acquire fluency in the language, as were their parents.. From Taiwan, the family moved to Changsha University in Hunan province where they spent the next two years. From there, it was on to Guangzhou for a four-year stint at Guangzhou University. By the time the couple arrived in Beijing in 1998, their three sons had returned to the United States, each fully qualified to pursue a university degree. During the many years that they have spent in China, the Asburys have come to love the country and its people. Verne, who holds a Master's degree in English Language and Literature, currently teaches at the Foreign Languages College at the Beijing Language and Culture University. Olive, who holds a Bachelor of Science in Education, currently cares for their two little daughters at home and occasionally does some private tutoring of English. I am sure I am not alone in wondering, "What is it that would make a couple with three grown children want to start all over again?" I don't think there is a definitive answer to this question. Perhaps it's a need to be useful. Perhaps it's a need to be needed. Perhaps it's a directive from God. They haven't done everything, but the Asburys have certainly done something. For two, deeply-loved, little girls, this couple has replaced deprivation with abundance, and in doing so has re-awakened, affirmed, and replenished the human spirit. Two little girls can now realize their full potential all because of one couple's expression of love. How to Adopt You need to collect nine notarized official documents to gain the China Center for Adoption Affairs' consent. More information about these documents is available at the website: www.chinaccaa.org The documents must be authorized by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Each adoption applicant must also submit two full-face photos and "several other photos reflecting the family's life." 1. Adoption application; Tips The process varies with nationality. Verne and Olive Asbury offer these hints to citizens of the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom who are living in China at the time an adoption is initiated. They suggest simultaneously pursuing all four steps to save time. 1. File an adoption petition with the immigration service associated with your embassy
or consulate. 2. Contact a licensed social worker in the Chinese city in which you are living so as to begin a home study. A home study assesses a couple's ability to parent and their suitability to adopt. It is fairly time-consuming as it involves extensive interviews with each of the prospective parents. However, a completed home study must be approved by an adoption agency in your home country before being forwarded directly to the immigration service at your embassy or consulate. 3. Locate an adoption agency in your home country. If necessary, recruit the help of friends, relatives or other adoptive parents living in your home country. An adoption agency must approve the home study. 4. Contact your embassy or consulate and apply to undergo the required fingerprinting for the relevant government security office. In the U.S., this is the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Only after all your documentation has been translated, notarized, collated and duplicated, should you forward it to the China Adoption Center in Beijing. It usually takes slightly more than a year. Most adoptions are "sight unseen" Child dossiers, sent from orphanages to the China Adoption Center, are matched with dossiers sent to the center by couples wanting to adopt. Occasionally, however, "a letter from the heart" is sent to the center requesting a particular child. "Letters of the heart" are most often sent by orphanage volunteers who have come to love a particular child. Officials prefer the former route of adoption, perhaps as they regard it as a more equitable process. |
Cover Story
Then something happened. For some reason, Westerners
were temporarily closed out of certain parts of the orphanage. That meant separation from
Emmie. Verne worked tirelessly to obtain special permission for his family to re-enter
that section of the orphanage which housed Emmie. Permission was finally granted.
