Astrology

Vermin who do the dirty on their partners get their comeuppance at last. Honest rats can party hearty as their reputation is restored without prejudice. A good time to ask for a big bank loan to squander on rodent revelry.

Winter bites. Wrap up warm and don't stay up too late. Buy some mittens and take up knitting. Warm your limp cockles by a chestnut fire before the wet white stuff arrives. Long underwear, tights. These are your friends.

Traveling Tigers can expect lots of news from home, especially from those so-called "friends" you had written off as good for nothing. December will be lonely if you don't write back instantly.

Rabbit life becomes extraordinarily dull this month. Pay close attention to your dreams. Within your inner self, lurks a date with a different, more magical destiny. Ooooo!

What matters most right now is that you ignore everyone else and stick to your own ideas. You know best. Too bad next month you'll find out the one idea which was totally flawed.

This is a good time for taking examinations or physical fitness tests. You are about to become a winner. Don't worry: There is no need for you to study at all. Relax and pass. Probably.

Your recent slipshod performance at work is put behind you as the going firms up. This is a fruitful month for oral microbes, however. Pay attention to dental hygiene before slobbering over any more fillies.

Fate serves up a tasty morsel to Sheep who follow orders this month. Rebel rams can expect to slurp at the dregs of a poisoned waterhole. Investments in Shenzhen-listed B shares are not recommended.

Bowel problems could intervene embarassingly this month. Flatulence and constipation are just two possibilities. A third is public humiliation. Consider eating healthy food for a change of pace.

Morning has broken up. Burning the candle at both ends means your timing's all off. All month. Get some rest, set your alarm clock. The VCD player may break down if you keep this up.

Life without a master is tough. Unhappy Dogs may find they can at last bound into the warm embrace of serfdom this month. Mind your tongue doesn't stick to the chains in the cold weather.

If you happen to be trotting down Chang'an Avenue this month and a suspicious-looking gentleman in a dark coat and sunglasses stops you and says: "Pssst... CD, CD-ROM?" -- just ignore him.